Hello darlings! I apologize for my absence. Last Saturday, March 15, my mom went home to be with Jesus. It was a complete shock. My mom was only 55. She was healthy and led a vibrant life. I went back and forth wondering if I should share the details of that day, thinking that it would be therapeutic to write about it. Right now, I just don't think I am strong enough to tell it again and remember the horrific pain she was in. I can say, my dad and I were there with her when she took her last breath. My very best friends rushed up to the hospital when I texted them that I didn't know what was happening. Oh, thank God for them!
It turns out that my sweet mama died of a pulmonary embolism (a blood clot in her lung). The doctors say there is nothing you can do to prevent something like this. It just happens. The ONLY thing that helps me is my Jesus and knowing she is up in Heaven with my brother Jeremy.
I wanted to share my Eulogy with you. I want everyone to know how AMAZING my mom was (and forever will be).
"Life isn’t fair. We hear it all the time starting when we are
very young. We tell our mom and our teachers, “That’s not
fair,” and their reply? “Life’s not
fair.” I say it to my own students. This is a very difficult lesson to learn; One
that I still deeply struggle with. Was
it fair that my mom was taken from me? That
I will never have her at my wedding or see her with her grandkids? She was my very best friend. I did everything with her. She knew me better than I knew myself. She was there for every heartache as my rock,
Every scrape and sickness as my comforter, every joy as my greatest
cheerleader.
She would text me
every night “Sweet Dreams. Love you” and I would say “Ditto.” I saw her everyday as I dropped my dog
Cullen over to her house before work to play with Roxie. We joked that one day I would be dropping off
my children instead. On Saturdays, we
would go grab Chickfila from the drive through and just sit in the car and
talk. Then we would have an afternoon of
shopping. We had a very special bond that I will always keep in my heart. She
was my everything. So, no, life isn’t fair and I hate it. It just kills me and I know my world will
never be the same.
But I have to remember what my Jesus said. He never said life was going to be fair. In fact, he said we would endure trials and
tribulations. In
John 16:33, Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble." Notice
that Jesus does not say "if" but "you will" face trouble. This is so hard for all of us to understand.
But God is mysterious and we aren’t supposed to know it all.
All I can do is what my Heavenly Father tells me. In James 2-4 he says Dear brothers and sisters, whenever
trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. 3 For when your faith is tested, your
endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow,
for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and
ready for anything.
I already felt like I could endure all the testing possible
after losing my little brother when he was only 20. I thought our family had experienced the
ultimate tragedy. Little did I know that
I would lose my mama just 7 years later and I would have to watch my family
deal with horrific loss all over again.
The hope I have, is that I am still fighting. I am closer to God than I was before my
brother and I know I grow closer to Him still.
Jesus is my lifeline.
I am not sad for my mom.
I know she is in Heaven. I know
the first thing she did was hug Jesus and then run straight into the arms of
her little boy. I know her heart and
body is free from pain. She is
free. She is HOME! I know Jesus told her
how proud he was of her. She did so much
good on this Earth. I have NEVER known
ANYONE with such a pure, loving heart.
When I was younger, I would get embarrassed because she would write
notes about Jesus on our receipt for the waiter along with her big tip. I would be embarrassed when she would just
talk to a random stranger who looked like they needed help.
As I got older, I just
knew that was mom and that Jesus made some people fearless or she just did what
we are all supposed to be doing. I remember
just the other day in Deirburgs, there was an old lady who was in the store
trying to set the alarm for her car. My
mom stopped and asked if she needed help.
The lady said yes and what she was trying to do. My mom told her how you can put the clicker
up to your chin to use as a conductor so the signal can go farther. She did it and her car alarm set. Again, how many people do you know even pay
attention to other shoppers? The lady
then came up to my mom and said,”Since you were so nice and talked with me over
there, can you give me some advice on what I should put in some Easter eggs?” She was having an Easter Egg hunt for her
adult children. My mom helped her and
came back and said, “See Amy, I think there are a lot of people in this world
who just need someone to talk to.” She
amazed me and does still. I am so proud
she was and forever will be my mom.
I know everyone is shocked like I am and wondering how this
could happen to such a good person, how a person that lived Fiercely for Jesus
could be taken. Just remember, our
reward is Heaven. I know that is SO, SO
hard to grasp and understand when we are aching for her, but know SHE is HOME
where all who believe in Christ will be forever and We WILL see her again. Isaiah 57:1-2 says, Good people pass away;
the Godly often die before their time.
But no one seems to wonder why.
No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to
come. For those who follow godly paths
will rest in peace when they die.
So as I close, let me
just say, I will be alright. My family
will be alright. We have Jesus and we
have all of you to help us though this. I
want to challenge each and everyone of you perform random act of kindness this
weekend in honor of my mom. Leave an
extra big tip for a waiter. Pay for the
people’s order behind you in the drive through.
Hold open doors for people. Let
someone else have the parking spot. Let
a mom with her screaming kids go in front of you in line at the store. Talk with a stranger. These are things my mom has done. I challenge you to write
your act of kindness on her facebook wall or one of my family member’s facebook
wall’s. Please do this in honor of my
mom. Let’s pass some of her love on."
I appreciate that you read this far. Hopefully, I will get some school stuff done this week to keep my mind busy. I will try to give you some freebies.
God bless you and your family!
